Venting.

 I have decided to decline the dinner invitation I recieved earlier in the week. Just doesn't seem right to go, even if it is for my favorite food at my favorite resturant. I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to date again. I've been single since September 2015. That's almost eight years of casual dating, with nothing to show for it. I'm exhausted. I don't want to do it anymore. I am tired of being lied to, let down, led on, put down, and ghosted. After my divorce, I never would've imagined I'd still be learning someone's favorite color or song. I will turn 40 in about six months. Forty and single. It's not as glamourous as Carrie Bradshaw made it out to be on Sex and the City. When is enough, enough? When do I throw in the towel and accept my fate as the old lady who will die alone and be eaten by her cats? Maybe God keeps me from anything serious because I have some more personal growth to do. I need to finish my degree, which I am making steps towards. doing. I definitely need to work through some issues, which I am making steps towards doing. I definitely need to get myself healthy, which I’m also doing. And finally, gotta work on my self confidence. I know I’m a bad bitch. I know I am beautiful. I know I am intelligent. I know I am hilarious. I know I have this amazing personality. But for some reason, I always let someone’s mediocre, balding, insecure son make me feel like shit. Every single time. For what? Nothing. I always feel so stupid afterwards. It’s definitely time to put my own feelings first. Period  

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Quick Introduction.

 Hi! I'm Jamie. I am a 39 year old, single mom with food allergies, who just got dumped while on vaction with the man I've been dating for the past year. Talk about an awkward six hour car ride home. But sadly, this is not my most memorable dating story. I once flew to the beach with a pilot I just met, and ended up in emergency surgery. This was after my failed marriage, where he left me for the neighbor. It's all funny to think about now, but clearly I have some stuff to figure out about myself. My therapist suggested a journal, but I thought putting my business on the internet for strangers to read would be more fun.  I figured this would be a good way to review the crazy foods I try, and the crazy dates I go on. This is all in good fun, and just a way for me to stay accountable to myself. I am going to use the next 30 days to really work on myself. I am already down 20 lbs since the end of April. I hope to start back to the gym this week, and will use this blog to docum...
Read more

15 Relationship Red Flags.

Another riviting article from my therapist. Apparently he thinks I am in some kind of hurry, even thought I keep pushing the Jamie Glow Up Era and I am enjoying my alone time. But in all honesty, I wish I would've read this article sooner in life. I could've saved myself a lot of heartbreak...  15 Relationship Red Flags What is a red flag in a relationship? If you haven’t heard of this term before, we’re here to break it down.  So, what’s a red flag? According to Merriam-Webster, a red flag is:  ‍ [verb] to identify or draw attention to (a problem or issue to be dealt with) [noun] a warning signal or sign  In our own words, a red flag is the suggestion, or warning sign, of potentially dangerous behavior from someone.  ‍ Red flags often walk right up to the abusive behavior line and sometimes even dance all over it — and crossing the line can easily happen.  Red flags in dating aren’t always obvious. That’s why we’re here to break down early red flags in a r...
Read more

A Wrench in My Plans.

 Life is weird. One day you think you need to drink hallucinogenic tea in the jungle with Amazonian shamans, then next think you know you’re suddenly getting your soul sucked out of your body in a random place with someone you met 5 days ago and the world suddenly looks different. It caused me to have a revelation. I was never the problem. My needs just weren’t being met. In any way, shape, or form. I am always the one to give and give and give. My happiness always comes second. It shouldn’t be that way. I believe God puts people in our paths as we need them, to help us navigate our journeys and teach us things. I feel so much different than I did a week ago. It’s amazing to have someone telling you to stop trying to be so perfect. Someone who encourages spontaneity and dance parties. Someone who shows up at my job with food and a diet Dr Pepper, just because they wanted to see me for five minutes and make me smile. I’m excited to see what the future brings. I’m not going to overth...
Read more