Too Many Second Chances.

 For what ever reason, I’ve spent the morning reflecting on my past relationships and my past actions. Apparently, I was either been color blind or stupid. I would just seem to ignore those red flags. Being a nurse made me feel like I could fix people. I also always thought I’m worth changing for, and men would want to change for me. Delusional. People don’t change unless they want to change. I stuck around way to long too many times. The last guy locked me out a hotel room. Twice. Almost exactly one year apart. And I stuck around after the first time and cried over him? Why?! Clearly he wasn’t what I needed in my life. He wasn’t good for me. I stayed with my ex husband after he abused me and cheated on me multiple times. I would beg men to not leave me. I would beg for time and attention. I would be happy with the bare minimum from men. It’s all laughable now. I’m so glad I’ve changed. I used to really want to find love. I thought a man would complete me and make me happy. Again, delusional. Now I make myself happy, even though I am seeing someone. He’s around to add to my life, not to be my whole life. It’s a welcome change. It’s nice to be around someone who values my opinion, and wants me to see me more than twice a month. My life has completely changed this summer. I’ve honestly never been better. 

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